The Church Of The Beholder

I AM a techno remix

I'm not going to bother with the graphics issue here right now. Why? Because there are some big changes coming in the next couple days. Major changes for my production company and all websites related.

Stay tuned.

4 words... Ben Arthur and Jeniffer Marks

They just played here at the shop and I have to say it was one of the best shows I've been to in some time... well... outside of the news that Jennifer is married. Then again... maybe not. Most that know me know my luck with Jennifer's. :s

I'll get the links up later

I know... I have neglected my people again. I'm sorry. Things are going so well over here and I have been so busy that I don't even have time to fix whatever is wrong with the images. I'm going to TRY to fix that today. I make no promises though.

As if things weren't crazy enough Jason Ciarletta was killed saturday in San Diego. At 19 I saw a lot of Malcom Smith longevity in him.

For the Linkin Park and Limp Biskit fans I just pissed off. Fuck you I don't care... go find a talented band to listen to.

Lamby help.... I need to go for a drive... One of our totally aimless destinationless lets just go get lost somewhere drives.

I am SO frustrated right now. The music here at the shop is good... but I need some 'core. I need Dimmu. I need Therion. I need Iced Earth. I need audiophilic methamphetines. A good round of neck-breaking-grind-size-13 1/2-Doc Marten's-into-your-forehead-old-school-moshing will suit me fine right about now.

None of this pussy Limp Bisquick or Lincoln's Fart. Give me some Suicidal Tendencies or Black Flag.

:: Wants to be listening to Slayer - Dead Skin Mask ::

Word the day:

Cluster Fuck Cluster Fuck Cluster Fuck

Anything that can go wrong today is going wrong, and yes, at the worst possible moment.

Power adapter on laptop... broken AGAIN.

Things aren't where they're supposed to be. People aren't where they're supposed to be. A truly fucked up day.

Work is going great. They are rapidly coming to themselves and realizing that I am truly god. Yes, my ego gets bigger with every passing day. Why? Because I fucking deserve it. I have allowed people to use me and take my kindness for weakness for far too long.

Yes, my trust in people is gone. My #1 focus is me and me alone. If I step on your toes on my way up... well, I'm not sorry... you shouldn't have been trying to trip me.

Women... gone
Drinking... gone
Smoking... well THAT is still here

My focus is myself and my business now that I have the people that are willing to assist my growth instead of dragging it down. Getting Coven 6 Productions off the ground has taken far too long. Well guess what. It's right around the corner.

Project... is right around the corner. Be warned.. there are big things coming. If you'd like to come with me back me up. If you want to be one of those saying "I knew them when..." then try to stop me. You'll just get kicked to the curb.

"Hahahaha, you ain't knowin what we mean by starin through the rearview. So since you ain't knowin what we mean let me break down understandin.

The world, the world is behind us. Once a motherfucker get an understanding on the game and what the levels and the rules of the game is then the world ain't no trick no more. The world is a game to be played.

So now we lookin at the world, from like, behind us Niggaz know what we gotta do, just gotta put our mind to it and do it It's all about the papers, money rule the world. Bitches make the world go round. Real niggaz do they wanna do, bitch niggaz do what they can" - Tupac

"I'm seein nuttin but my dreams comin true. While I'm starin at the world through my rearview" - Tupac

Tonight was the debut of Radio Cup-A-Cino Elise McCoy sounded fantastic as usual and the broadcast went off without a hitch. Next show is tomorrow at Cup-A-Cino We'll be streaming audio as long as the server will hold up.

Ok... that post I just deleted shows that one shouldn't drink & type. My head is all fucked up tonight. So much turbulance in my life right now. Yeah... I'm going to make it through just fine. There's a lot of "bad" and there's a lot of good.

More contacts made tonight to help get my production company off the ground.

A possible investor.

Lost a good friend.

Gained a few more web design jobs.

Lost my "girlfriend" (Though I wonder if she was ever mine).

Lost my Guardian Angel Chapter

Is this going to kill me? No. Do I hurt? Only for Angelica and the fact that it's 2 degrees outside and my knees are moving about as fluidly as jello straight from the freezer.

This is a very bizarre time. I have all this crap coming at me and I'm unphased. I see my target and I'm staying on track. I'm not falling off this time. There's no way you can stop me. Things have finally snapped for me and I'm piling through this like it was the Esperanza High School offensive line.

To those trying to stop me... a big FUCK YOU. It's not happening.

To those in my life now... you're either for me or you're against me. The hint of you being the latter will get you kicked to the curb. No questions and fewer chances.

I want to say goodbye to a friend of mine. I just received notification of her death out in Denver. Angel was in my life for a VERY brief time. Only a few weeks. But quickly became a dear friend. She was in a car accident last week and was released after 2 days of tests and monitoring.

Apparently they didn't test enough. She passed away this morning as a result of a crebral blood clot.

I talked with her quite a bit about Denver and the goings on. Kinda cried on her shoulder about missing home. I grew up in Southern California but Denver is home to me. We talked about hanging out at all the same places and yet we never met before I moved here.

She knew a lot of the same people. Yet we didn't know each other. She brought a very bright light into the life of a very homesick man. I'll never forget her because the name Angelica truly reflected her spirit.

And people wonder why I won't wrok for "them" Workday Minnesota: Court slams Walmart's use of 'dead peasant' insurance

All these chicks here setting up dates and going out drinking and I'm stuck here at the shop with this ugly fuck

You know how hard it is to do web work with a High School punk band blasting in your head?? Well... at least these kids are pretty good. Kick up the proffesionalism a bit and they might have a chance.

eventually I'll have a random video streaming over there on the right... not exactly sure where I'm going to get the media but it's gonna happen

Obviously I'm toying with an Idea over there --->

This is the biggest mistake I think NA$CAR has ever made Yahoo! Sports I could be wrong.. guess we'll see in the last 10 races.

Just added Kevin Roney to my affiliates. He's an excellent local musician. If you're in the Detroit area I highly recomend you go check him out. Keep and eye out for him at cupacino.com

I just took a look at my page in Netscape... I'm not sure I want to do that again... I need to figure out how to fix this.

The entire right column in off the screen... I feel the need to fix this I know not why because 100% of my readers are IE 5 or better... but I'll do it just for that 1 user. See... I love my people.

Ok.. I really hate to break it to people... I have bad news... Linda Lovelace is dead.


heh.. old joke... don't worry about it

I have now learned that in some situations ice is NOT your friends. Especially when it's 3 inches thick on your front step and you're in a hurry.

I took a dive yesterday morning and am feeling it in a BIG way today. Nothing broken thank the gods but I'm in a hell of a lot of pain. Apparently the edge of the step cut into my hamstring. Now I can't do shite but lay on the floor and try to work. For some reason getting off the floor is easier than getting out of the bed... go figure.

ST. ANGER
Saint Anger 'round my neck
Saint Anger 'round my neck
He never gets respect
Saint Anger 'round my neck

You flush it out, you flush it out
Saint Anger 'round my neck
You flush it out, you flush it out
He never gets respect

Fuck it all and no regrets
I hit the lights on these dark sets
I need a voice to let myself
To let myself go free
Fuck it all and fuckin' no regrets
I hit the lights on these dark sets
Medallion noose, I hang myself
Saint Anger 'round my neck

I feel my world shake
Like an earth quake
It's hard to see clear
Is it me? Is it fear?

I'm madly in anger with you

And I want my anger to be healthy
And I want my anger just for me
And I need my anger not to control
And I want my anger to be me

And I need to set my anger free

Set it free

Words and Music by James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich,
Kirk Hammett, and Bob Rock
Copyright ? 2003 Creeping Death Music (ASCAP)
and EMI Blackwood Music, INC./Mahina Hoku Publishing
International Copyright Secured All Rights Reserved

FUCK I CAN'T BELIEVE I CUT MY HAIR FOR THESE ASSHOLES!!!

YES I stole the comment from LambchopI'm so busy working on the coffee shop page that I don't have the time to work on this one or do much searching for things.

I have decided that losing my Guardian Angel chapter is a good thing. Gives me plenty of time to make more money. At this point I'm not actually working for dvDetroit but I will be doing work for him soon. FINALLY I'm doing what I want. Jeni has stated that getting rid of me was the best thing for her. Well... I believe it was the best thing if not for her... for ME.

If I was still with her I'd be in Ypsilanti right now. I wouldn't even KNOW about this coffee shop. I wouldn't have my contacts. I wouldn't have anything that I do now. SURE I share a house with 4 other guys but the 2 I interact with on a regular basis are cool and we have a good time. 1 kinda keeps to himself and 1 I just avoid simply for the fact that I don't trust him.

Karl and Broom on the other hand are excellent guys. We take care of each other when one is in need and all is good. Now that I'm getting cash on a regular basis I think I'm gonna cover a trip downtown to the casinos. Maybe just hit a couple clubs. I don't know but the 3 of us are going to do something.

well... it would seem that one of my dreams has been shattered. The group I work for has shut me down. It doesn't matter to them that I've sacrificed jobs and my life for the past 2 years for them. That I've been to the hospital 3 times in the past 2 months for my ulcers because of the stress getting this chapter going.

It's perfectly OK for them to not contact me for 2 weeks. It's ok for me to call them only to be told they're in a meeting and will call back yet I never get the call back. It's OK for them to pretty well leave me to do this thing by myself. NO support. No uniforms. No training manuals. Nothing.

But my desire to make money that most likely would go mainly to keeping the chapter going is enough for them to kick me to the curb. Fuck You Curtis. Fuck You Arnaldo. Fuck You Frank. Fuck all of you that left me hanging out here.

What the hell is wrong with me?? I have no reason to be depressed like this and yet I am. This is more than homesickness. Somewhere something is terribly wrong. Most likely having to do with someone close to me.

Oddly enough I felt a little like this before my dad died a few months ago (come a long way haven't I.. being able to call him dad now). I wish I knew what was causing it. I can't have this kick in now. Not after the day I just had.

I just secured more web work and have nearly completed plans to begin hosting LAN parties at the coffee shop. This will be awesome once I get the gear I need because there are several other shops in the United Cafe Network that I can tap into. Thus making much buckage. Things are going so awesomely right now. Best days of the last 10. I'm SO looking forward to it.

ummm bank in Africa? uhhh... then why they got a phone # in Reno?

Are people really stupid enough to fall for this email?? Spam the hell out of this bozo at issa@702mail.co.za assuming that's an actual email account.. of course if probably is because the nature of this scam is to get you in the following contact to give up information required for them to attack your credit if not steal your identity and or cash directly.



Hello,

I will like to solicit your help in a business
proposition, which is by nature very confidential
and a Top Secret. I know that a transaction of this
magnitude will make any one worried and apprehensive
but I am assuring you not to worry, as all will be
well at the end of this endeavor.

I am Mr. Issa MOHAMMED, Client Service Manager of African
Development Bank Group. My partners and I have
decided to seek your help in transfer of some amount of
money requiring maximum confidence from my bank.

A foreigner, Late Dr. Edward Marples who was an oil
merchant and contractor with the Federal Government
of Nigeria until his death onboard the ill fated Kenyan
Airways bus {A310300} was our customer at the
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK and had a balance of US$32 million

which the bank now expects his next of kin to claim
as the beneficiary.

So far, valuable efforts has been made to get to his
people but to no avail, as he had no known
relatives.
More because he left his next of kin column in his
account opening forms blank. Due to this development
our management and the board of directors are making
arrangements for the funds to be declared unclaimed
and subsequently paid into the federal government
purse. Usually, funds of this nature end up in the
greedy pockets of some politicians due to our
corrupt society.

To avert this negative development my colleagues and
I have decided to look for a reputable person to act
as the next of kin to late Dr. Marples so that the
funds could be processed and released into his account,
which is where you come in.

We shall make arrangement with a qualified and
reliable attorney that will represent you in
liaising with my bank for inconveniency of you coming to my

country. All legal documents to aid your claim for
this fund and to prove your relationship with the
deceased will be provided by us. Your help will be
appreciated with 20% of the total sum
(US$6,400,000).

Please accept my apologies, keep my confidence and
disregard this letter if you do not appreciate this
proposition I have offered you. Thank you very much
for your time.

I wait anxiously for your response.

Yours faithfully,

Issa Mohammed.

NB.You can also check this website for news story
about the crash two years ago.
http://www.usafricaonline.com/aircrashkenya.

From the desk of Issa Mohammed
Client Service Manager African Development Bank Nigeria
desk.
Web Fax:+ 1-775-383-2732

Brings new meaning to online banking?

Hey way to go... don't agree with your critics? fire them and then make way for your new dictatorship.

Let me preface this buy saying I've had a pretty good week. So I have no idea why I'm so depressed tonight. Feelin kinda homesick. Missin me some Gypsy smiles & hugs. Met a gal online the other night and Denver is all we've talked about. Well.. Denver and Brit.

I miss my people. Been thinkin about Doc and his damned Santa hat that flips from side to side. Everything about the musketeers. Just generally missing.

Detroit is SO not me. Although things are going well. I'm getting job offers left and right doing everything from web design to PC work. I still hate this city.

I'm not sure I'll be happy anywhere but Denver for long. I have one more city to try and then I'll know. Until then I have to continue my work here until I can move on.

got the yahoo indicator graphics done but now can't concentrate on this long enough to do the aol and msn graphics. I'll get them done eventually.

Would it be wrong to go back to heroine long enough to quit smoking? Probably so... knowing me I'd end up hooked on BOTH again and all will go to shit right there.

At least this time offline has aloud me to get some work done. Some dumbass outside decided he wanted to see how well his car would handle doing 60 mph on ice. Well... he didn't do so well. Now the car is history, he's dead and half the block is without power.

This really is a shitty way to end/start a night. It was a beautiful car.

I am now 24 hours nicotine free and I am NOT enjoyoing it. Kicking heroine was easier than this shit. The shakes are on and I've already snapped at my boss twice. Thank god she knows what's up.

I'm tempted to go bum a smoke and just take a couple hits to take the edge off it but I know that all that is going to do is prolong the pain. If you're lookin to call me for any reason... don't. I'm not answering my phone nor am I interacting with most people for the next few days.

DAMMIT ARE YOU A SOLDIER OR A VIC MORROW IMPERSONATOR!!!

Can we ad neurotic ex's and republicans to this list?

Mail and Guardian Online: One million species lost by 2050

I do need to finish off the links in the main menu. Once I find my list of FAQ questions & responses that will be up.

"Rockin Links" is now "rockellaneous" I couldn't figure out which title I wanted so I used both.

"affiliates" pretty self explanatory...

Headlines... a pretty good middle of the road (politically speaking) news feed.

Downloads...again... self explanatory... I'll be adding a few more as I remember the software titles I swear by.

Speak Out... well... shite... what I wanted to do there isn't going to fit so no I gotta come up with an alternative.

This template was optimized for a 1024 x 768 resolution but should look good at any resolution.

Now to find a new counter / tracker since blog patrol has apparently gone under.

Well here it is. I finally got this thing right. Took me 2 weeks to get it just right but there it is. Enjoy it if you can, hate it if you like. Just don't tell me either way.

YES DESCRIPTION IS INTENTIONALLY SPELLED WRONG OVER THERE --->

Happy Birthday to my baby. Wish I could be there.

I'll be there, late, but I'll be there. You get 2 birthdays this year.

It would appear that this bug that's going around has finally hit me. I'm really feeling miserable right now and get to work tonight feeling this way. This is going to be pleasant. I'm really looking forward to this one.

I need to get the DSL running in the office so I can get online while I'm there. Without it all I do is sit there and make copies of paperwork. This job ranks with working construction site security 15 years ago. So thoroughly boring that if it weren't for the fact that I have a steady flow of coffee going through me I'd fall asleep 15 minutes into it.

I also need to come up with 5 bucks by tomorrow. This is not good. Only I could go 5 dollars over budget into my rent money. How I did it I don't know but tomorrow it's due and I guess I'm going to have to catch up on it later. I really don't see the landlord getting too anal about 5 dollars but I am

I'm going back to a generic template until I can get all the bugs worked out of the new one

well the machine is still down and I have to resort to using the laptops at the coffee shop to make repairs to the page. But on the up side I am now officially an ordained minister. Heh... who wants me to marry them.